So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
