YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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