A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
