what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
