problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
