wat bout pragnant strippers??
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
