Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
