We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
