There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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