Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize