So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
