You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
