so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
