it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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