I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
