when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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