after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
