i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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