It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
