shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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