brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize