fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
