I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
