Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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