She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
