I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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