matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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