Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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