My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
