Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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