HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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