Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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