Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize