How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
