she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
