Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
