I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just invented taco cereal.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think a kid would responsible me up
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
