Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize