Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I party with great urgency now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
