if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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