the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
