I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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