I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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