We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
