I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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