So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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