Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All the doctor said was why
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
