I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
