Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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