do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it glows. i had to have it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize