I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
