it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
