Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I did not marry a roomba.
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