You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
