I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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