She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
