I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize