someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
