Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
