The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
