Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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