I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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