just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
