Sorry, I don't speak sober.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
